Let’s get into that deep dark part of our heart that we all have: lust. We all lust. For some of us, it’s a daily struggle. And lately, it’s been on my heart and mind.
I’m a 20 year woman and I’ve never been in a relationship– of course I daydream after an occasional strapping young lad. But, I’ve learned that even when you get what you’ve yearned for, it’s not enough. There’s a lot to say about lustful desires and what it says is so true and so redeeming for me. God tells us not to lust, because nothing can ultimately fill you but Him. And this is what I’ve taken to truly to heart in the past few weeks.
A while ago, I was in a really dark place. There was a boy, who in most cases, took up all of my attentions. In the midst of my daydreaming, I thought I was on cloud nine. But,what I was doing was completely obsessing over something that was based solely on an idea formed in loneliness, insecurity, and frustration.
The poor boy, as great as he is, did not deserve to be put on such an idolatrous pedestal. But through prayer and fasting, I’ve removed myself from this situation and seen through the heavy fog over my eyes. I thought about the situation: If I were in a relationship with this man, would it make all my problems go away? Even as a single woman, I could see myself diving into the thick of it-totally unprepared and unfulfilled. The same goes for everything else in life: If I pursue this degree? If I get this job? If I live in this house? The list goes on and on but its unending desires signify how menial the things on this earth we fill our lives with can be like.
And so, as I go forth into new adventures, I carry this so so heavily in my heart. The burden I once felt as lust and its accompanying ecstasy is no longer something that clings to my heart now. With every meditation on these words, my heart becomes lighter and also fuller. Though they still come and go, I put away my lustful desires, because I know that nothing is as worthy or desirable as the love of God.
I think this is one of the most integral steps in my journey into adulthood. Being able to recognize what has held me down emotionally over the last few months has really changed the way I see the future. And so, I hope that as I continue to grow in my faith, I put away my desires and follow in the footsteps of Jesus, who has come to bear peace and fill our hearts with love.
Enjoy the last bit of this jubilant January,